Is it time for the Holidays already? What do I get everyone? How much should I spend? I just know there is going to be family drama this year.
Does this sound like you during the holidays? Do you have a constant stream of worries going through your mind? If so, just know you are not alone. Many people stress out during the holidays this time of year has become so commercialized that there is constant pressure to get the most and best stuff for the long list of people you probably have that you want to buy for. On top of that the holidays are usually the times of year when families all gather to celebrate, which can be beneficial especially if your family is your support system, or if you’re extroverted and don’t mind large groups of people. Introverts and people with sensory overload issues can end up feeling extra stressed during large family gatherings, especially if there are a lot of people present with loud noises, or if conflict breaks out and conflict most likely will occur. It seems to be that no one knows how to push your buttons quite like family. Often times during family gatherings at least two people will have some type of argument or disagreement this can be stressful for all involved and at the family gathering. People often feel pressured to impress others in their family in regard to their levels of success and life accomplishments. Some feel they have something to prove especially if it seems others in the family have become successful or are achieving great things. On top of that no one wants to be the person whose gift gets returned or regifted. Some people don’t even know how they are going to put food on the table, let alone how to get their family gifts for the season. That can create a sense of helplessness and anxiety, plus with the stories of Santa visiting good children, it can cause pain to lower income children who do not get anything for Christmas, which can also put added stress on the parent.
This year, on top of normal holiday stress, there is the added impact from the Novel Corona Virus which has become a major stressor for nearly everyone since March or even before then depending on what country or state you are from; for us in New York, it’s been since about March when changes went into effect. I had posted an article a few months ago about how the virus had impacted me, and that was only in July when there was hope that this would end before 2021. Now it is December and we are getting our second wave of restrictions and spikes in the virus. All our hospitals are almost filled up with people who have the virus. I am lucky to be in a situation where while I struggle financially, my struggles haven’t been worsened by issues with job security, as I receive aid due to my disability status, but Many people I know personally are really hurting from all of the restrictions in our state, as well as the loss of jobs from closed down businesses. My friends who own businesses are having to change their entire business models just to stay afloat and not get hit with orders to close down. People I know who even work for large companies, are having difficulty getting on unemployment when the company shuts down or closes temporarily or permanently. And those who are still able to work risk contracting the virus and bringing it home to their families, some of whom have compromised immune systems, or other pre-existing conditions which make the virus more of a risk. I myself have to be careful because of my Diabetes which puts me at a greater risk of dying from many things people unaffected don’t have to worry about including covid.
With all of the extra stress caused by the national pandemic this is the year people could use the most holiday cheer. My mom, myself and some friends I know actually put up their Christmas trees in November instead of waiting until December like usual. Sadly, though all of the normal holiday stress is mixing with stress from life changes with the virus, making it extra difficult this year to stay merry. Everyone I know has had to cut back on how much they give for gifts, and the prices of the gifts they give their children and other family members. While it is a bit difficult to explain to the children in the family, it is also a good year to teach them that the best part about the holidays is spending time with the people you love. My siblings kind of did Christmas a bit early this year, because we are having an anything goes kind of year, but they were still extremely happy with their gifts though the quantity was lower than normal. I was very happy as well. On top of that I was able to have a Christmas miracle where I was able to get enough money together to get Christmas presents for my mom and four siblings who are still children. I have 7 currently I am the oldest with 3 now being adults 4 children, and 1 on the way which will make 8. So, there are quite a bit, on top of that my one sister has made me a first-time aunt so I’m going to have a niece to shop for. So I still have a large amount of holiday stress, which I’ve determined I can avoid by shopping a bit earlier, or by getting crafty with my gifts. But anyway, after that little tangent, the point I was trying to make is that stress can take effect very easy, and no one is immune to it. There are, however, ways to cope with stress during the holidays even if it seems impossible. Here are my Ideas for ways to lower your stress levels this holiday season, or how to prevent them for next season.
1. Find ways to save through out the year, or to start shopping early so you are not overwhelmed when the holidays eventually roll back around.
2. If loud noises, or multiple people talking at once stresses you out, make sure you have a way out of the situation and a strategy for where to go for relief, like a room no one is in, or outside for a quick break. Find someone you can confide in early on and tell them your warning signs so they can help recognize when you need a time out.
3. If you are worried about money to get people presents start getting crafty. Depending on the craft finding immediate crafting supplies during the holidays can get just as pricy as buying premade gifts, but if you stay on the look out for deals and supplies all year long you will be surprised at how fast your crafting supply collection builds up. Thrift stores can be a great place to get supplies, it also helps if you are able to think out of the box and find ways to repurpose various things like dollar store items for unique craft supplies.
4. Try to overcome the need to compete with others in your family if that is something that causes stress. Who cares if cousin Michael just got accepted to med school (well that’s great for cousin Michael, but it doesn’t mean you aren’t also accomplishing great things.) Even making it through this crazy mess of a year is a major accomplishment.
5. If you have to work during the holidays, that can definitely be rough, but there is still hope for you. I’ve worked on the holidays and it can be tough, especially in retail, but luckily the holidays are times when businesses have every employee work some hours so no one is forced to stay for the whole day. If you are not at a place that does even this common courtesy, once again, that is rough and I am sorry, but it is important for you to stay calm and
keep a level head, it is the only way you will make it through your shift or hours of operation.
6. If you are a parent struggling to get gifts for your children, there are places that help people in need. Depending on your income level the Salvation Army helps so many people each year all over the country of America with a program called the Angel tree. This is a program set up every year where kind hearted people with money to spare buy gifts for children whose names and wishes are written on lists hung on a Christmas tree in places like the mall and various types of department stores. There is also toys for tots which is a Marine run program where toys are donated all around the country to boxes set up in department stores. You can find information for both the Angel tree and Toys for Tots at the websites below.
https://www.needhelppayingbills.com/html/salvation_army_christmas_help.html
7. If you are stressed out in any moment and need a way to decrease the stress response within your body just take a few deep breaths and do a grounding exercise. There are many different ones to try. The one that works for me and doesn’t require anything other than my own body is where you tense and release the different parts of your body starting from your toes and going up to your head. Start by tensing up your toes then releasing the tension, then your ankles, then do the same for all the way up your body until you tense up your head and release. The best part about this exercise is that no one can really tell that you are doing it and again all you need is your body. It is best to practice this or whatever other grounding activities you try regularly and in times when you are not stressed that way it becomes a habit and you will be more likely to remember the technique when your stress response starts getting high.
Life can be very stressful at times, The holidays can be expecially stressful times of the year, and 2020 may perhaps be the most stressful year in a long time, at least in this decade anyway. No one knows what 2021 will bring, no one knows when this virus will be done changing life as we no it, but we do know the holidays are here, and will be here again. being prepared throughout the hear will be the best strategy for preventing stress from getting debilitating this time next year. It may not seem possible, but there are little steps you can take each day to increase their stress tolerance. One thing that helps is having a safe and healthy place to vent. someone you trust, or even a therapst is a good idea for everyone even if they don’t struggle from severe mental health issues. everyone struggles with something, and everyone could benifit from having an objective person to go to. there are many groups on social media sites for just that, though take everything you see online with a grain of salt (even this blog) what works for some people isn’t going to work for everyone, and not everyone is an expert. The biggest thing to remember this holiday is that the most important thing is your health and safety. As long as basic needs are met the only thing you really need during the holidays is a strong support system, or to be part of a strong support system for your loved ones. Also if you have kids, remember you don’t need to get them every single thing they want, I have plenty in my family and they barely play with any of their toys, even the ones they wanted so bad for birthdays and christmas. They are going to remember the time you spent with them more than they will remember every toy you ever got them and their interests are always changing. maybe you can sit them down this year and teach them the importance of donating the useable, but no longer used toys they own so they can learn the value of giving rather than recieving. also normalize not getting gifts for every single person in your family if that is something that regularly brings you stress. It is nice to be able to get something for everyone, its an even better feeling when they love what you give them, but on most budgets its just not practical. This is especially true if your family is as large as mine with large amounts of siblings, and cousins, and aunts and uncles, and several living grandparents still (win!) It doesn’t cost much to send out christmas cards with thoughtful messages, or to offer time spent and services, or even to get a bit crafty and thrifty. Usually the homemade gifts mean the most to people and our time is our most valuable resource.
Disclaimer!!!
I tried to stear clear of talking about which holiday season it is as I know there are people of other religions, but at some points it was hard to do since I celebrate Christmas, and have done so for my whole life. There was no offense intended. I would also like to point out that any advice given is just general advice and is not intended to replace the advice of a licensed professional.
Mental Health Blog | Fight4mylife | United States 