New Year! New Goals! New Me?

There is an importance to having goals each year even if you don’t call them resolutions. In this new year I have new goals, but I am not a new me so to speak, I am the same me, just with new experiences and goals. Though one could argue that you are a new you each day you live and gain these new experiences and go through these life events, the basics of our personalities stay the same. Though this does not mean we do not learn and grow as people. At the start of each and every new year people all around the world make their resolutions for changes they will make in the new year. Most are about their health changes or changes in their work or education. No matter the change only something like 8 percent of people actually ever acomplish their resolutions by the end of the year. Because of that it may seem like there is no point or that there is no way to ever follow through with your resolutions, but the fact that the number of people who acomplish their yearly goals isn’t zero percent means that there is in fact a way to acomplish those goals. There is also much that can come from making these goals even if you don’t end up keeping them. I have not been successful in keeping my new year resolutions, but I have recently learned a bit of information that, while not new to the world, is a bit new to me. Many say the key to making long term changes is to make sure you are making SMART goals. this is an acronym for Specific Measurable Atainable, Realistic, and Time Related. There are many other blogs which talk about these kinds of goals and explain it much better than I could as of right now, but I have created an infographic with my example of a SMART goal that I have set for my self for this new year which will please my nutritionist, my endocrinologist, my mother, and ultimately my body. I have tried setting this goal multiple times but it was never specific, measurable, attainable, realistic, or time related the way that I had it set up. It was always vaguely worded, like “I’m gonna stop drinking so much pepsi” The problem with making goals like that is there is no clear path of action and no acountablity.

One of the reasons you want to set New Years resolutions is because it creates a sense of hope and optimism since having goals helps give you something to look forward to in the year to come while still not dwelling too much on the past or future. You are setting goals for the future, sure, but you have to do work in the present to achieve those future goals.

Reflections of the past year and what I have learned:

Now this past year was pretty uneventful especially when compared with life before the Pandemic started, but there were some both amazing and tragic things that came from the year of 2021 and the year was far better than the previous year was for me.

First off, my grandma passed away in May just days before mine and my mom’s birthdays (I have two mom’s this was my birth mom’s mother and it was before mine (may 11) and my birth mom’s (May 16) birthdays on May 4). Her death came with great sadness as I never got the closure I was looking for, but also with the hope that she is now with either one or both of her husbands (my grandfather her first husband whom she had known since childhood) and her second husband whom was my grandfather’s roomate in the hospital. During this past year, while I had to stop half way through, my grandmother’s death gave me the push I needed to do National Novel Writer’s Month as a rebel who was writing a memoir about how the life and death of my two biological maternal grandparents had affected me. I got a lot done and while it may never make it to shelves as a sellable product it has helped my healing imensely. I may even make a blog post about it some day in the future as soon as I can find a way to make my experiences helpful to the masses.

The very next month after my grandma’s passing my niece was born from my youngest biological sibling and only biological sister. seeing and holding my new born niece for the first time was amazing, and it has been so wonderful to see her grow even if it has been just throught video chat. Not too long ago I learned that I have a nephew growing in my sister in law’s stomach and while he won’t be here for a few months, learning about him has also been a great joy despite the fact it’s been quite a surprise.

In regards to the virus, it is still going on , but some restrictions in my area have lessened and while they may not stay that way, it has been helpful for morale. Sadly people in my close family had been getting the virus since the middle of last year including my three brothers who are still children my one brother’s fiance and two of my aunts. One relative passed from it. I am not going to start any false information or arguments about the virus and how reliable our current methods of prevention and care are, because I don’t think I’d actually change anyone’s mind either way, and I don’t know enough about the whole issue and the science involved to give any kind of facts. I just know that of the people in my own life that have gotten it, the one who was not vacinated was the one to pass on, though she also had an underlying health condition. Either way no matter what you may or may not believe I reccomend you do whatever is best for you while also ensuring you do your best to protect those who are vulerable and can’t protect themselves. Maybe things like masks and distancing don’t work but if you feel you can’t get the vaccine for whatever health or other reason, and those are the only other options, I feel it would be the best thing to do so you are at least doing something. At the end of the day if it turns out those things don’t actually help, well you haven’t really lost anything by wearing a mask/ shield, or by maintaining distance from those outside of your home.

Those were the major events for me this year, along with the starting of my bachelor’s program. That has proven to be a challanging adversary. It took me so long to get my associate’s degree as I was dealing with so much health and other challenges, and had to take a break. I started in 2014 and stopped in 2015 not picking it back up until 2020 when the panemic ended up changing how I finished that degree program and didn’t allow me to walk on stage for my degree, but I finished and shortly after started my Bachelor’s degree program just at the middle of last year with 2 rounds of 7 week classes and only about 1 week of a break in between each round with three weeks between last round and the four week class that starts on the 3rd of this month. I am going for social work with the hopes of working in either a hospital or as a licenced clinical social worker and being a mental health counselor. I still have about a year or so left of this program and while it is stressing me out a bit and while, I am having difficulty adjusting with my time managment, I am really enjoying the challange, proving myself, and learning more about the human condition and ways I can help.

While I like most of you, spent most of my time at home, I have grown a lot and learned a lot from all of these things that have happened. I have learned how important family is during tragedy and how damaging it can be when family bonds break down. Through all of this I can say my one major goal is to learn not to dwell so much in the past and on the things I can’t control. That is the biggest goal in addition to lessening my Pepsi amount to one a week. I’m not going to be unrealistic and say I know for a fact this year will be the best year ever, or even better than last year, but I am optimistic for the future, and all of the things that I want to get done, all of the different experiences I want to have, and all the people I am going to interact with and grow with both in my family, in my educational path, and in my community. In store for this year is probably more covid shenanigans, more medical and mental health challenges, tests, procedures, and routines, more life events and changes, and more growth and learning. I guarantee that great things will happen, and I also know there is a possibility that some not-so-great things will happen, but I am ready for all of that, because I know I will be able to handle it like I always do, with the help of my support system, and with my own personal strength. The thing is, everyone has their own strengths, and while I cannot guarantee this, I am willing to bet that everyone at least has the ability to develop a solid support system even if they haven’t figured out how to yet. In an earlier blog I talked about the importance of support systems and how to develop one, that may help anyone wondering how to find support if they feel they don’t have it already. I would say that besides personal strength this will be the most important factor in whether or not you accomplish your goals for the new year. It will at least help immensely in addition to setting SMART goals of course!