How I Survived, and Thrived, During my Family Reunion Trip to Texas

With just a few taps on my phone it was done. Through the nervous sweating and intense rounds of should I shouldn’t  I, I had successfully bought a ticket to go over a thousand miles away to the other side of the United States for a double whammy family reunion.

I was headed to my first biological younger brother’s growing family whom I hadn’t seen since his first child was a newborn, and now that child is 3 while my brother’s newest baby is now 1 and this was our first meeting.

I was also going to see my birth mother in person for the first time in over a year. she lives in my home town in Connecticut and neither of us have much extra money for seeing each other in person that often, though last year she was living in the same state as me 3 hours away so it was a bit easier to see each other in person. We do talk on the phone often though, some say too often. That being said, Talking on the phone is a very different experience from being with each other non stop for about 2 weeks.

Think navigating challenging family dynamics while protecting your mental health is impossible? Think again. In this post, I break down my recent experience at a Texas family reunion after years away from my mom and brother.

Learn the concrete steps I took to manage trauma triggers, establish clear boundaries (even when it was hard!), and weave self-care into a busy reunion schedule, including meeting my brother’s in-laws for the first time.”

1. First I laid down the ground rules and set up boundaries with first myself about what topics I would and wouldn’t talk about so I wouldn’t start any arguments about differing beliefs and past traumas.
2. I then discussed my boundaries with my birth mother about having a healthy visit without trauma bonding as we sometimes feel compelled to do.
3. I also worked out a plan for how I was going to give myself some alone time each day as 2 weeks is a long-term time to be constantly socially interacting with new people, or people I just don’t see very often.
4. I made sure to take time out of both weeks to talk to the one person in my like who has been my safe person since the day I met her, my adoptive mom. Talking to her whenever I was getting stressed out helped me Decompression and get reasurance that Everything would be ok. plus her voice was calming to hear.

Wrap up:

I had a wonderful time in Texas I reunited with family I hadn’t seen in a while, I met new additions to my family, I saw some different local sites, and ate some delicious food Ive never eaten before. Though my family is one drenched in generational trauma, it is very dysfunctional, but I have healed enough to be able to enjoy their company for 2 weeks without my safe person nearby, so that is a big step for me. My vacation results may not be the same for others with tramatic backgrounds or from dysfunctional families, but I urge anyone struggling with their families to go through the proper channels to get help coping or developing skills to work through these challenges such as a licensed therapist. I do know that not everyone can afford therapy, or insurance, and not every insurance plan covers the needed amount of therapy anyway, so if that is your situation just do your best to prioritize your mental health even if that means cutting that family member ir members out of your life until one or both of you are in a position to heal.