Ouch, That Burns!!! The Truth About Burnout (And how to avoid/ cure it)

Disclaimer!!! This post is not intended to replace nor to be a substitute for real help from a licensed medical professional. Only by speaking with your doctor can you get completely individualistic information that is accurate to your exact situation and everything that you are personally going through. Also, this was not sponsored content by any organization or service just my personal understanding of the topic of workplace burnout.

Today we are going to talk about burnout. While burnout can happen to anyone in any work environment (don’t worry we will mention that plenty) we will mostly be focusing on the burnout faced by content creators, just because the number of content creators is currently the highest it’s ever been due to the need for the content and the fact that many have lost their day jobs due to the economic crisis caused by Covid-19. We are also going to be talking about content creation burnout because the rate of Gen-Z TikTok starts facing burnout and leaving the platform is alarming and is being met with hostility by faceless internet bullies who think that just because people become somewhat famous, they lose their rights as human beings, though with the stigma on mental health it is already hard enough for people struggling to talk about their issues.

First, we are going to look at a journal article from Taylor Lorenz a journalist at the New York Times. She just recently wrote a scary but touching article about one problem that is way too common now in this age of the internet. In her article titled “Young Creators Are Burning Out and Breaking Down,” she shined some light on a major issue she found that was being faced by Gen Z content creators on the popular social media and viral video platform TikTok, Burnout! Lorenz mentioned the names of several TikTok influencers like Jack Innanen, Sha Crow, Charli D’Amelio, Spencewuah, and many more, each having something very important to add to the conversation about content creator burnout. Many said that they have noticed a trend on TikTok where there was less activity from the older TikTok stars, and the younger ones were just leaving the app altogether.

Lorenz noted that one main reason both content creators and workers in every other career are facing burnout is the covid 19 pandemic. Massive numbers of workers in all fields and at all career levels are facing this troubling issue.

This is an issue for everyone, not just for the people suffering from this health crisis. On the side of content creators, it’s obviously a huge issue for the creators themselves, but also for their fans who look up to them and who look to them for inspiration and whatever other aspects of their content they were producing before they became burnt out, many of whom are kids and teens who want to be just like their favorite influencers but who don’t really know what they’re getting into.

The only ones not damaged by the high rate of content creator burnout are the higher-ups at the tech companies in silicon valley. The owners of these social media and video platforms get to line their pockets the more they push everyone to become a content creator. The more content creators there are, the more people there are using these apps, the more people using these apps the more time is spent using these apps, and the more time spent using these apps, the more money the companies make from ad- revenue. So for them it doesn’t matter if thousands of creators a day burn out and fade away, because there will be a thousand more to take their places, therefore keeping up the unrealistic standards set by the algorithms and content viewers. That is what I like to call a major problem.

Traditional companies and workplaces do suffer when their employees suffer, especially in fields where there is a high turnover rate like social workers and those in retail and customer service.

We can’t just completely ignore the burnout being felt by workers in other industries as well (especially the burnout faced by first responders and health care workers). Some of you out there may be facing this awful health crisis. The burnout faced by the typical worker in any regular field where there is not a constant cycle of replacement, affects everyone from the worker experiencing the burnout, to those other people in their workplace, to the families and loved ones of the worker feeling the burnout. At work, they are missing out on all the value the burnt-out worker could bring to the table when they feel mentally well and inspired. It can also take a toll on family members of the burnt-out worker because when we are burnt out and feel overwhelmed that is very noticeable to the people around us, especially to the people who love us, care for us, and count on us to be at our best. And we must stay as well and healthy as we can and fill up our own bucket before we try to fill up the buckets of others who need us.

I will be writing a blog post or doing a video discussing this concept put for those who don’t know what it means I’ll give the analogy of being on an airplane and the air masks come down. Even if you have children that you are caring for you need to put on your own mask first before you help the children so you can be in the best possible condition to help them properly.

This has been a tough lesson for me to learn I see my greatest strength as being able to help others, but for a long time, I was doing this while neglecting myself and my needs. I did ok like that for a while, at least on the surface, but over time it was just taking too much out of me, and I became burnt out too. That’s why for a long time it was so hard for me to keep doing the things I love like this blog, its YouTube channel, and my other just for fun YouTube channel. It was even taking over my personal life and it completely took over any healthy functioning I had left after dealing with all my other mental and physical health issues (trust me, I already have enough to worry about with both my physical and mental health). Luckily for me, I was able to eventually get out of burnout, and I don’t currently have the pressure of being the star of any platform I use. That’s not really my goal, though I do want to be able to help as many people as I can in the short amount of time I have left on this earth.

You may be wondering just how many content creators there are there in the world. It can’t be that many, right? Well, I was certainly shocked to discover that Lorenz found information from a report from a firm called SignalFire that claimed over 50 million people recognize themselves as creators and influencers, it was also found that this industry is the fastest-growing small business segment which is mostly because many people found themselves either out of work or otherwise confined to the home and had to do everything online due to the pandemic.

This pandemic has caused so much pain for so many people. It has left us isolated; it has caused many to lose their only sources of income and their homes. On top of that, there has been a rather high level of violence in our modern more civilized world. It may not be that there is more violence, but now thanks to the fact that everyone has a recording device in the palm of their hands, we are just being exposed to it more than ever before.

The pandemic unfortunately has amplified everything and is leaving people isolated and out of their normal routine. This is causing more people than ever to convert their lives to remote and online for everything from work to social encounters, to even hobbies and past time and live events. It is also leading more people than ever to experience the pains of work and content creation burnout.

It is important to note that it’s not just TikTokers who are dealing with extreme stress and breaks in their mental health, now massive amounts of YouTubers are leaving and no longer creating videos or doing what once brought them such joy. Lorenz found that the reason seems to be the ridiculous expectations put on them to create new and interesting content every day; they are afraid they will not be able to keep up with the algorithm and disappear into obscurity if they fail to do so. This does seem to be the case, and I have seen it from so many YouTubers I follow share their own mental health struggles, from Markiplier to JackSepticEye, Ethan from CrankGamePlays, and Daz Black (I mostly follow gaming and content review YouTubers). I’m sure there are thousands of more content creators suffering the effects of burnout, maybe even any number of the ones you watch.

Many people with the hopes of becoming famous have turned to TikTok because they are finding it can get you recognition the fastest out of all the social media platforms. Lorenz was told by one of the creators that the problem is you can become famous within a week, but lose all the fame in an instant. 22-year-old TikTok creator Lauren Sasyna from Toronto had this to say about what such a phenomenon can feel like, “It almost feels like I’m getting a taste of celebrity, but it’s never consistent and as soon as you get it, it’s gone and you’re constantly trying to get it back, She claims that “It feels like I’m trying to capture this prize, but I don’t know what the prize even is.” This is very sad to think about. All of these young people with the whole world at their feet are already experiencing such severe health issues just because they are not treated like humans and are in a constant state of uncertainty as to how to keep their momentum going when faced with impossible standards to overcome

The reason I am not talking about other fields as much is that in the traditional workforce there are things both workers and employers can do to improve working conditions before the final stages of burnout are ever reached. I know not all people are in fields or positions where they are seen as a priority like that, but there are still more resources available and there are fewer expectations placed on them (for the most part) my heart truly goes out to those, not in a position to receive the right kind of help from their employers such as others who own their own businesses. It is vital for everyone especially people in these positions and first responders and health care workers to do some extra and personal work to find destressing methods that work for them, and that aren’t just merely distractions from the real problem.

There may be some people out there who don’t understand why burnout is such a huge issue for influencers and content creators, but 23-year-old, Los Angeles TikTok star Luis Capecchi pointed out that “It’s like getting demoted at a job with no warning.” Their entire livelihoods are being affected by the algorithms and intense demands put on them by the general public to create as much content as possible in as little time as possible. When views drop, so does their income and their jobs are not like others, they are closer to small businesses who are having to secure all their own benefits without the help of groups like workers unions and government funding.

Another main issue for these creators that is much different from what other workers go through is that there is a higher level of cyberbullying, harassment, and discrimination as people feel braver being anonymous behind a screen. One creator pointed out that when they complain about these issues, they are told to get over it because they are influencers. Unfortunately, this happens a lot to celebrities, and now these rising TikTok stars and other content creators are becoming temporary celebrities. When this happens people eventually stop seeing you as a normal human being, and more of an object they can do whatever they want with. Suddenly you don’t have the right to any kind of privacy and all your actions and choices are being judged by the whole world. Since you become a role model especially to young minds you are expected to always act as such even in the privacy of your own home, and for content creators the moment they stop creating content or step even a bit out of line they are met with hate and criticism.

This takes a toll on one’s mental health which can further take a toll on one’s physical health. One creator made a seemingly true observation, that “it seems like social media was designed purposely to burn people out”. There comes a certain point on social media where you do start to feel like everything you see is just shallow and fake, or at least that’s how I’ve started to feel.

I always strive to be honest and authentic about everything, but who knows, should I actually become any kind of well-known for what I do, I might feel very similar pressures to tailor what I post to avoid the harshest criticisms of the internet. Though I don’t really foresee that happening, I’ll step down before I become fake for the sake of the views. I do know that this is not an easy choice to make for most people on these platforms, especially those whose financial security depends on what they post. And that is just wrong to me, completely wrong.

Aside from viral video platforms, too much time or the wrong mindset while on other social media platforms can be just as harmful to the mind as the burnout faced by the influencers. It is pretty much essential for viral video stars to use some type of social media platform to promote the work they are doing on their other channels, blogs, apps, or whatever other projects they have going on

Robert T. Muller another journalist wrote an article about social media and its effects on influencers. He pointed out that for most of these influencers their whole world including work and outside of work revolves around social media. His article brings up an issue that not only content creators have to worry about, but all of us who delight in our favorite social media apps and sites. Muller talks about the research that has been done proving that spending too much time on social media can lead people to start making social comparisons.

I must admit that I’ve been guilty of just that it can be super tempting to see all the people posting their #perfectlife posts and selfies, while you are struggling just to keep it together. I have been right there and felt similar green envy sensations that lead us to feel like we are missing out on a better life than the one we are currently living. But one thing that has helped me, and that may help you, is realizing that those same people might be feeling the same exact way about their lives and the stuff they see on the apps (maybe even about stuff you post).

According to Muller, it has also been proven that social comparisons are inefficient and take up a lot of brainpower. We already put our brains through enough mental gymnastics each day, why not be kind to our brains and give them a break from social comparison? It will help keep us away from getting social media burnout and other negative symptoms that come along with too much social media. Muller found that there are some common negative side effects of social comparison. “Those who are solely focused on social comparisons can experience detrimental effects, including decreased appearance satisfaction, low self-evaluations, higher negative mood, insecurity, and anxiety.” There is also a type of comparison called upward social comparison. This is being done by influencers who look up to other high-status influencers. All these problems with social media and unrealistic expectations of influencers can also lead to high levels of burnout.

Now it’s time to get an actual breakdown on burnout; what it is, what it means for you, how to stop it, and how to prevent it from happening in the first place. Burnout is what happens after way too much unmanaged workplace stress creeps up on you. This Is consistent stress that is not taken care of the right way. I hope by now you are starting to see that burnout affects everyone in every industry and that while it is a serious issue, it is a manageable and preventable one. I don’t have any way of knowing who exactly you on the opposite side of this screen are, what you do for a living, or what you are going through, but I do know that it is highly likely you have gone through burnout at least once in your life, or that you will someday in the future, especially now with Covid-19 changing everything about our way of life. This blog post today has mostly been geared towards content creators and influencers but burnout is a phenomenon that affects all of us no matter what job we do. There may be some different triggers, but the symptoms and how it can be reversed are similar for everyone who goes through it.

The World Health Organization states that there are three dimensions to burn out

1. You feel completely exhausted and drained of energy

2. You feel more mentally distant from your job, or you are harboring greater feelings of negativism or cynicism about your job

3. And finally, you have a reduced professional efficacy

The Winona State University in Minnesota found that there are five different stages of burnout. They have a full guide for students and staff on how to manage stress. Once they had finished all their research, they made a list of the five stages so that they could help people recognize when they were at risk for burnout.

Burnout is an ever-common phenomenon in our modern-day and age. Anyone from any position in any industry can suffer the effects of burnout. And when one suffers from it, the issue affects more than just that one person. It can damage all that person’s relationships; it can put a strain on their company and co-workers who must pick up the extra work to fix the problem. It can lead to the individual becoming fired so they and their family suffer even more, and it can place even more burden on the health care system and that family if they don’t have the right insurance, or if they don’t have enough insurance coverage to deal with the health costs. Plus, it takes a toll on the sufferer’s physical and emotional health.

There have been studies done to show that burnout is currently affecting millennials the most out of any age group and especially now during the days of covid. It is also greatly affecting content creators both younger and older.

It is causing many rising TikTok and YouTube stars to leave the platform for mental health reasons, and the sad part is people don’t seem to care because they have become hungry for the newest and trendiest content, and some believe that since they chose to be role models and influencers that they do not deserve the same compassion for this issue that others do. In a sense, they lose elements of their humanity once they achieve stardom (at least in the public eye).

These creators are feeling pressure from the algorithms to produce original content every day multiple times a day so they can stay relevant and not lose the income that they rely on. Plus, since they are considered small businesses, it is up to them to supply everything from benefits to health care with no unions to protect their best interests.

I myself have felt a bit of burnout, though I don’t believe I ever made it to stage five, I think I quit and took a break before then, but I am in a different situation as of right now, because I have no external factors pushing me to create. I’m pretty positive my only real follower who tunes into my stuff is my aunt, and she doesn’t even watch my gaming channel (Hey auntie!). To be honest, I am doing this blog, my two YouTube channels, and my social media activity all because It makes me happy and I want to try to help people who have been through the same or similar stuff that I have been through, and even people who have been through the different but still bad stuff. I love helping people and right now I am too disabled to work a regular job so I’m trying to be as productive as I can until I get healthy and well-minded enough to do my dream job of being a mental health counselor. All this work I’m doing with my channels and blog is helping me learn my own new ways of healthy coping and lifestyle changes so I will be able to break out of my situation one day.

Whether you are a content creator, a doctor, janitor, or whatever you are, If you think you may be experiencing burnout please do all you can to get some healthy coping skills and try to follow the steps to get yourself out of burnout before it gets to the final stage. Seek actual professional help from a licensed physical doctor and a mental health counselor if you can.

Nowadays with things like better help, there are more ways than ever for you to get a licensed therapist and a much cheaper cost than traditional therapy if your insurance doesn’t cover it. If that doesn’t work for you or if you feel you are at the crisis stage, there are hotlines and warmlines you can call for just about any mental health situation imaginable, and a peer or other volunteer most likely will stay on the line with you and will connect you to the proper resources to get you back down to a calmer state of being until you can get seen by a proper health care worker.

In today’s society, there is a great stigma surrounding all things mental health, even when it is being talked about more than ever before. I’d like to say our society is starting to get better, but there is still a great deal of work that needs to be done. The way we get that work done is by not being afraid to share our struggles and to be open-minded and judgment-free when others are confiding in us and telling us their mental health struggles, even if it is a family member and what they are saying is hard to hear because you love them and just want them to be alright. I am dedicated to breaking the stigma by being vulnerable with you about myself, what I have been through, and what I am doing to create a better future for myself and others who come in contact with me. That’s why I’d love for you to stay with me through these technical and financial struggles I’m facing so I can provide you with the best content I can provide.

And I’m willing to bet it’s very rough-looking right now because I am still learning all the ropes and how to do things. But I will learn what I need to learn, and I will only get better from here. I thank you all so much for tuning in to the fight4mylife. And I hope you stay tuned because there is a lot of good stuff coming. I am definitely in stage one of the burnout phases, and I plan to keep it that way for a long time, by continuously checking in with myself and learning new ways of coping each day.

Until next time, XOXO!

Resources

Content Research

Lorenz, T. (2021, June 8). Young Creators Are Burning Out and Breaking Down. The New York Times. https://www.nytimes.com/2021/06/08/style/creator-burnout-social-media.html?searchResultPosition=5#after-top.

Muller, R. T. (2021, May 21). Social Media Affects Influencers’ Mental Health – TMHR. The Trauma & Mental Health Report. https://trauma.blog.yorku.ca/2021/03/social-media-affects-influencers-mental-health/.

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The one big mistake I made, and what I’m gonna do about it!

Ok, so today is the 20th of June and I realize I messed up big time. Yesterday was June 19th which may not mean much to everyone, unfortunately, but it is of great importance to millions of American citizens. Over 200 years ago, on June 19th, 1865 African Americans in Galveston Texas were told that they were at that point free citizens and no longer slaves The reason? Slavery had ended due to the north winning the civil war and Texas finally catching up to the rest of the nation.

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You may be wondering how this has anything to do with someone like me, and what possible mistake I could have made. Well, here it is. The mistake is, I did not fully understand how important the day is, nor did I understand how I could possibly celebrate the day being that I am white. I don’t know how many people really consider this to be a sin, but I absolutely do, at least for me. While Juneteenth just this year became a federally recognized holiday thanks to President Joe Biden, It has been celebrated by the African American community for years, probably since it first happened. It is another one of those things we were not taught about in schools, and in fact, I just learned that even though it is now a national holiday It is illegal to teach about in schools in 15 different states, and is not recognized as a holiday in many of the different states. I do blame my lack of knowledge of the subject in part on this sad fact, as most of the country still wants to pretend slavery never happened in the first place.

I am ashamed of myself for multiple reasons, but mostly because I like to think of myself as an open-minded caring loving person, and Instead of learning more about it last year when I first learned about the holiday, I did not look into it, because I was under the understanding that if I celebrated it at all it would be considered cultural appropriation, which is still an issue I’m learning more about. I am also upset because I have many members of my family including cousins, my youngest brother, and my first niece/nephew who was just brought into the world, plus her daddy and his side of the family. I have so much love for all of these people and pretty much anyone I meet, but I didn’t even take a moment to learn about this important event and other issues that will end up affecting my loved ones for their whole lives.

This brings me to how I am going to fix the situation so It can’t happen again.

I am going to learn everything I possibly can about the day in history and more issues that affect African Americans every day of their lives, then I am going to make sure I find a way to be a productive voter and American Citizen by voting on legislation that elevates black lives and contacting lawmakers who are trying to hinder progress for all. I am also going to invest more in black businesses and less in large corporations like Amazon. I don’t exactly know if this is going to be enough to make a difference, but at least it’s a better start than the ignorance I was exhibiting before today.

I would encourage you to do all you can to support people of all races and cultures even if you are not right here in America, but somewhere where the civil war never happened. It is vital that during this human experience we all share, that we all take steps to improve the world so It is better than we left it. We can’t properly do that if we try to pretend historic events never even happened. Maybe you are like me and never learned much about cultures outside of your own, maybe you never learned about these historic events and these little victories that lead to big change, but just because you never had the chance to learn and change before, doesn’t mean you can’t choose to do so starting now.

If you are one of the many African American citizens who call this rock formation home, I want you to know there are people who do care about your victories and causes, your trials, and your losses. There are people out there who want to stand with you against all the hate and injustice, It might just take some of us a bit of time to get there and fix all of the mind fuckery and brainwashing (and whitewashing) that has been done for centuries.

Stressed for the Holidays: as if I Needed More Stress in my 2020!

Is it time for the Holidays already? What do I get everyone? How much should I spend? I just know there is going to be family drama this year.

Does this sound like you during the holidays? Do you have a constant stream of worries going through your mind? If so, just know you are not alone. Many people stress out during the holidays this time of year has become so commercialized that there is constant pressure to get the most and best stuff for the long list of people you probably have that you want to buy for. On top of that the holidays are usually the times of year when families all gather to celebrate, which can be beneficial especially if your family is your support system, or if you’re extroverted and don’t mind large groups of people. Introverts and people with sensory overload issues can end up feeling extra stressed during large family gatherings, especially if there are a lot of people present with loud noises, or if conflict breaks out and conflict most likely will occur. It seems to be that no one knows how to push your buttons quite like family. Often times during family gatherings at least two people will have some type of argument or disagreement this can be stressful for all involved and at the family gathering. People often feel pressured to impress others in their family in regard to their levels of success and life accomplishments. Some feel they have something to prove especially if it seems others in the family have become successful or are achieving great things. On top of that no one wants to be the person whose gift gets returned or regifted. Some people don’t even know how they are going to put food on the table, let alone how to get their family gifts for the season. That can create a sense of helplessness and anxiety, plus with the stories of Santa visiting good children, it can cause pain to lower income children who do not get anything for Christmas, which can also put added stress on the parent.

This year, on top of normal holiday stress, there is the added impact from the Novel Corona Virus which has become a major stressor for nearly everyone since March or even before then depending on what country or state you are from; for us in New York, it’s been since about March when changes went into effect. I had posted an article a few months ago about how the virus had impacted me, and that was only in July when there was hope that this would end before 2021. Now it is December and we are getting our second wave of restrictions and spikes in the virus. All our hospitals are almost filled up with people who have the virus. I am lucky to be in a situation where while I struggle financially, my struggles haven’t been worsened by issues with job security, as I receive aid due to my disability status, but Many people I know personally are really hurting from all of the restrictions in our state, as well as the loss of jobs from closed down businesses. My friends who own businesses are having to change their entire business models just to stay afloat and not get hit with orders to close down. People I know who even work for large companies, are having difficulty getting on unemployment when the company shuts down or closes temporarily or permanently. And those who are still able to work risk contracting the virus and bringing it home to their families, some of whom have compromised immune systems, or other pre-existing conditions which make the virus more of a risk. I myself have to be careful because of my Diabetes which puts me at a greater risk of dying from many things people unaffected don’t have to worry about including covid.

With all of the extra stress caused by the national pandemic this is the year people could use the most holiday cheer. My mom, myself and some friends I know actually put up their Christmas trees in November instead of waiting until December like usual. Sadly, though all of the normal holiday stress is mixing with stress from life changes with the virus, making it extra difficult this year to stay merry. Everyone I know has had to cut back on how much they give for gifts, and the prices of the gifts they give their children and other family members. While it is a bit difficult to explain to the children in the family, it is also a good year to teach them that the best part about the holidays is spending time with the people you love. My siblings kind of did Christmas a bit early this year, because we are having an anything goes kind of year, but they were still extremely happy with their gifts though the quantity was lower than normal. I was very happy as well. On top of that I was able to have a Christmas miracle where I was able to get enough money together to get Christmas presents for my mom and four siblings who are still children. I have 7 currently I am the oldest with 3 now being adults 4 children, and 1 on the way which will make 8. So, there are quite a bit, on top of that my one sister has made me a first-time aunt so I’m going to have a niece to shop for. So I still have a large amount of holiday stress, which I’ve determined I can avoid by shopping a bit earlier, or by getting crafty with my gifts. But anyway, after that little tangent, the point I was trying to make is that stress can take effect very easy, and no one is immune to it. There are, however, ways to cope with stress during the holidays even if it seems impossible. Here are my Ideas for ways to lower your stress levels this holiday season, or how to prevent them for next season.

1. Find ways to save through out the year, or to start shopping early so you are not overwhelmed when the holidays eventually roll back around.

2. If loud noises, or multiple people talking at once stresses you out, make sure you have a way out of the situation and a strategy for where to go for relief, like a room no one is in, or outside for a quick break. Find someone you can confide in early on and tell them your warning signs so they can help recognize when you need a time out.

3. If you are worried about money to get people presents start getting crafty. Depending on the craft finding immediate crafting supplies during the holidays can get just as pricy as buying premade gifts, but if you stay on the look out for deals and supplies all year long you will be surprised at how fast your crafting supply collection builds up. Thrift stores can be a great place to get supplies, it also helps if you are able to think out of the box and find ways to repurpose various things like dollar store items for unique craft supplies.

4. Try to overcome the need to compete with others in your family if that is something that causes stress. Who cares if cousin Michael just got accepted to med school (well that’s great for cousin Michael, but it doesn’t mean you aren’t also accomplishing great things.) Even making it through this crazy mess of a year is a major accomplishment.

5. If you have to work during the holidays, that can definitely be rough, but there is still hope for you. I’ve worked on the holidays and it can be tough, especially in retail, but luckily the holidays are times when businesses have every employee work some hours so no one is forced to stay for the whole day. If you are not at a place that does even this common courtesy, once again, that is rough and I am sorry, but it is important for you to stay calm and

keep a level head, it is the only way you will make it through your shift or hours of operation.

6. If you are a parent struggling to get gifts for your children, there are places that help people in need. Depending on your income level the Salvation Army helps so many people each year all over the country of America with a program called the Angel tree. This is a program set up every year where kind hearted people with money to spare buy gifts for children whose names and wishes are written on lists hung on a Christmas tree in places like the mall and various types of department stores. There is also toys for tots which is a Marine run program where toys are donated all around the country to boxes set up in department stores. You can find information for both the Angel tree and Toys for Tots at the websites below.

https://www.needhelppayingbills.com/html/salvation_army_christmas_help.html

https://www.toysfortots.org/fy20christmas-is-coming/?sl_tc=bingsearch&msclkid=b604372d482a1ca5355468f3ffc2a51c&utm_source=bing&utm_medium=cpc&utm_campaign=FD%2BBing%20Search%2BBrand%2BFundraise&utm_term=toys%20for%20tots&utm_content=Brand%2BExact%2B1x

7. If you are stressed out in any moment and need a way to decrease the stress response within your body just take a few deep breaths and do a grounding exercise. There are many different ones to try. The one that works for me and doesn’t require anything other than my own body is where you tense and release the different parts of your body starting from your toes and going up to your head. Start by tensing up your toes then releasing the tension, then your ankles, then do the same for all the way up your body until you tense up your head and release. The best part about this exercise is that no one can really tell that you are doing it and again all you need is your body. It is best to practice this or whatever other grounding activities you try regularly and in times when you are not stressed that way it becomes a habit and you will be more likely to remember the technique when your stress response starts getting high.

Life can be very stressful at times, The holidays can be expecially stressful times of the year, and 2020 may perhaps be the most stressful year in a long time, at least in this decade anyway. No one knows what 2021 will bring, no one knows when this virus will be done changing life as we no it, but we do know the holidays are here, and will be here again. being prepared throughout the hear will be the best strategy for preventing stress from getting debilitating this time next year. It may not seem possible, but there are little steps you can take each day to increase their stress tolerance. One thing that helps is having a safe and healthy place to vent. someone you trust, or even a therapst is a good idea for everyone even if they don’t struggle from severe mental health issues. everyone struggles with something, and everyone could benifit from having an objective person to go to. there are many groups on social media sites for just that, though take everything you see online with a grain of salt (even this blog) what works for some people isn’t going to work for everyone, and not everyone is an expert. The biggest thing to remember this holiday is that the most important thing is your health and safety. As long as basic needs are met the only thing you really need during the holidays is a strong support system, or to be part of a strong support system for your loved ones. Also if you have kids, remember you don’t need to get them every single thing they want, I have plenty in my family and they barely play with any of their toys, even the ones they wanted so bad for birthdays and christmas. They are going to remember the time you spent with them more than they will remember every toy you ever got them and their interests are always changing. maybe you can sit them down this year and teach them the importance of donating the useable, but no longer used toys they own so they can learn the value of giving rather than recieving. also normalize not getting gifts for every single person in your family if that is something that regularly brings you stress. It is nice to be able to get something for everyone, its an even better feeling when they love what you give them, but on most budgets its just not practical. This is especially true if your family is as large as mine with large amounts of siblings, and cousins, and aunts and uncles, and several living grandparents still (win!) It doesn’t cost much to send out christmas cards with thoughtful messages, or to offer time spent and services, or even to get a bit crafty and thrifty. Usually the homemade gifts mean the most to people and our time is our most valuable resource.

Disclaimer!!!

I tried to stear clear of talking about which holiday season it is as I know there are people of other religions, but at some points it was hard to do since I celebrate Christmas, and have done so for my whole life. There was no offense intended. I would also like to point out that any advice given is just general advice and is not intended to replace the advice of a licensed professional.

So Many Changes! Life During Quarantine

Environmental changes

Over the past few months Covid-19 has changed the entire world and has caused changes to my world as well. While most other countries in the world have gotten a real good handle on the situation and have been able to start allowing life to go on more normally, the status here in the United States is constantly shifting going through periods of worse and better and then worse again. One problem is that all of the different states are at different stages of functionality, and within those states there are differences within the different regions as well. Not too long ago my county in my state was at phase three of its four stage plan which meant that stores and restaurants were open for in store shopping and eating. Now because people aren’t being careful like they were before, stores and restaurants are starting to close again. All of these changes have played a hand in my personal life changes and both the personal and environmental changes in my life have all come together and are acting as challenges I need to find a way to overcome.

Like most people, the first thing to change were my typical day to day events, and how I completed my college classes with the focus being online instead of in person as I had been doing before the virus hit North America. The next thing to change was the way I went to my doctor’s appointments and the frequency of them. I see several doctors including my psychologist to help give me someone to talk to about my more serious mental health issues. My normal day would consist of either going to school and the mall afterwards to look around and see the movies with my unlimited movie pass. Or go to my internship and later volunteer site the Salvation Army to help people in need. I have not worked in many years due to my disability status, but I would frequently do things like go to the library for hours, and restaurants, the mall, the gym, and different types of social support groups like Al-anon for family members of alcoholics, an affected by suicide support group, a general wellness group, and a socialization group. All those groups have been canceled now, the gym, and library are closed, and the mall is open but is a breeding ground for Covid-19 still, and I as well as others in my family are at an increased risk of dying from the illness. It is still possible to go to the place I would volunteer at, but that too is an area where sickness would be easier to catch. Luckily school has been finished for a couple of months and I was able to graduate with the associate degrees I spent 7 years working towards. I will talk more on that in a future blog post but all I will say is it feels so great; the debt, however, does not. Another activity I regularly used to engage in was going to the various thrift stores in my area and finding interesting things that I can use for crafts or to decorate my apartment. Some are still open, but the one I used to find the coolest stuff at is still closed. My medical appointments have become fewer and far between, except for the resent surge of doctor visits to fix a minor issue I’ve been having with my physical health. Many of the other appointments I have been having have either been on the phone or through telehealth video calling. This is also how I’ve been keeping in touch with my family members who I have been distant from due to not wanting to do any unnecessary travel. Plus my aunt who lives several states away. It hasn’t been easy and I would certainly prefer to do most of these appointments and family visits in person, but it is still far better than being completely isolated from the outside world. It has been much needed especially with all of the changes to my personal life and with my own constantly changing mental health.

The changes in my typical activities have now extended into seasonal changes in activities I usually do or are involved in during the summer. For one thing, all of the pools in my area are closed, and the closest beaches are impossible to get to by walking which is my only method of transportation. I have family members with cars, but they also don’t want to go to the beaches for fear of them being overcrowded. Another change has been the yearly traditions I have begun to build up since moving on my own. Usually every summer I go to a local festival called Mount Caramel Feast, as well as my county’s fair, and the local fireworks display at our major park. I also have started a tradition of doing something once in a lifetime and memorable on my birthday every year since my 22nd birthday (no not 21st because the people I would have partied with were in Jamaica that year, though I guess it was still memorable, so thanks to you dad). All of these events were canceled due to the fact that it would be impossible for proper social distancing. I am not upset that all of this stuff is being canceled because I know it will help keep people safe and healthy, I just wish that other people were actually following all of the rules and advice from the professionals in charge of the crisis management so that things would go back to some sort of normal like how other countries are starting to go back to their versions of normal while still keeping their numbers down. Do I miss doing my normal activities? Absolutely. Am I finally starting to get bored with watching tv and Netflix? Oh definitely. But I also understand that most of my boredom is also coming from the changes I’m going through personally and not necessarily due to these changes in my environment and routine.

Personal Changes

All of these changes in my environment, plus the usual fluctuations in my chemicals and hormones due to mental health issues have also created personal health and wellness changes that have been even harder to overcome than the environmental changes. One change that has been both environmental and personal is my living situation throughout quarantine. When my city was hit the building I live in, which is for seniors and people with disabilities, ended up being closed down to visitors and my mom didn’t want me to be isolated for so long without any other human contact so I went to stay with her for a couple of months. While at my mom’s it was back to my structured pre-adult life as opposed to me just doing whatever I wanted whenever I wanted (i.e. no more ice cream for breakfast, and reasonable bedtime). While there were drawbacks the structure really helped keep my mood up. After the two months while my building has still been closed to guests my mom and I agreed that I would be fine to go back as long as I kept up video communication with the family and stuff. I have been doing alright over all, but there have been other changes in my personal life that have been impacting me. I had some stressors early on last month, but most of the issues ended up being resolved. First to kick things off I found out my brother who only just this year became a member of the U.S Army is being deployed by next year. I have been able to work through that because he is not going to too dangerous of a place, but at the time I was freaking out, especially since this is the longest, we’ve been apart since he was born. Shortly after I found out that someone at my cousin’s work was diagnosed with Covid-19 and that her and my aunt may have been affected. That worried me especially since my aunt found out when she was on her way up here for a visit. That fear was also quickly taken away because both of them tested negative for the illness. That very same day I found out that my grandfather had collapsed and was in the hospital. I found out that he was okay though and that fear was gone too. Another issue that really keeps changing and deteriorating is mine and my siblings relationship with our father, especially as a result of difficulties with his girlfriend. I will not go into detail because I love my father and know he’s trying his best, but he needs to definitely set up some boundaries, and not allow his girlfriend to kick us out of his life. I don’t really know if she is doing it on purpose, but I do know it really hurts and needs to stop immediately. Along with all of that there is the stress I always feel when thinking of my birth family, but more specifically worrying about my birth mother and siblings. That stress, pain and fear never really goes away, I am just sometimes able to find distractions from it. That has been harder to do, especially now. This month a new little wave of changes have also got me more stressed out than is healthy. One of the issues I have with my disability is money management. Up until recently my mother has been in charge of my money and how much I end up spending. Unfortunately, I have a habit of acting impulsively and spending money when I do have access to it instead of asking permission to buy whatever it is I want to buy. This, plus the fact that she doesn’t want our relationship affected has made it so she is no longer able to do that for me, which means I need someone from the Department of Social Services to act as my new payee. This is obviously going to be a lot different from having a family member in that position. The stress of that, plus the stress brought on by hearing complaints others have had when in a similar position have me kind of freaked out. On top of that. Within the two months that I have been on my own, and honestly before this even started. My level of functioning as a healthy adult has significantly gone down. I’m having issues with insomnia, med management, eating, personal hygiene, lack of energy, and loss of interest and motivation. The levels of difficulty fluctuate from day to day, but more often than not things are at their worse. Because of this I was faced with the option of moving into an assisted living facility or get someone to come into my home and help me do the things I need to do to stay alive. Due to financial reasons I am going with the second option, but the loss of my level of independence and functioning has me feeling pretty down. On top of all of this, it is getting harder to tell what is and isn’t a hallucination. For that issue, another medication has been added to the ever -growing list. I know my life could be a lot worse, and knowing that actually helps, but the fact that I am having so many of these problems is causing me a great deal of pain and is increasing the severity of the battle I constantly face between should I or shouldn’t I keep living. To be clear, I am not going to do anything to hurt myself, but the feeling of being a useless burden is very strong. I know I still need to continue my medication and work with my therapist, as well as reach out to loved ones when I need help though and will continue to do so.

Recap, and Lesson’s I’m Learning

The world has changed quite a bit as a result of the virus Covid-19 plans are constantly changing and being canceled. There are even more family issues than there usually are, at least within my family. I am sure other families are struggling too, but this can also be a time to come together, and to spend more time getting to know each other in a different way. Gatherings and typical daily activities have also changed too. I am seriously upset that so many people are losing the businesses that they worked so hard to build up, but keeping people safe and sparing as many lives as possible still must be a priority. There needs to be a balance between the two, but more importantly average citizens need to actually learn to follow the guidelines put in place by the experts whose entire lives have been dedicated to fighting contagious diseases. One’s mental health is constantly changing, mine is no different. Some time it is hard for me to accept it, but I have various illnesses and disabilities that are never going to go away and are going to have times when they are more difficult to manage than they are at other times. I need to be able to accept that too, and to accept help when I need it, so that I can get better faster too. One thing I am starting to gain are the hobbies I have been too depressed to continue doing. I will keep doing them and may even develop new ones. I will also still find ways to challenge myself physically and to exercise regardless of access to a gym. While the events in my life are consistently changing and leading to new feelings and challenges, I know that I must keep up the

fight-4-my-life.

What’s wrong with me? Cycles of Mania and Depression!

The change is so unpredictable sometimes. One minute I feel extremely motivated and like everything in the world is perfect. I don’t need to sleep sometimes for days at a time, but can still function like I would in any other situation. I just plunge myself into a large list of new projects and commitments. “Since I don’t need to sleep, I might as well volunteer at every organization that is in the area, and heck, why not start learning three new hobbies and two languages?” I think to myself. Suddenly I have so many thoughts running through my mind all fighting each other to try to catch my attention at the same time, and many of those unwelcome thoughts involve buying so many things I don’t need to buy, things that I would never consider buying if I was in my right frame of mind. Other thoughts involve puting myself in dagerous and risky situations, like being intimate with people I barely even know, people who really don’t deserve to spend time with me in such a way. I’ve been seriously hurt by people I thought I could trust after just one online conversation, but the rush felt exciting in the moment. Occasionally there will even be strange visual hallucinations just for a moment or so, then just as quickly they disappear. But that is to be expected when you’ve gone days without sleeping. Shortly after the mania leaves I start a downward spiral; my mood and energy level unexpectedly take a dramatic and very negative turn.

All of the energy I had days before leaves my body and I’m left barely able to move. Every muscle in my body hurts getting out of bed suddenly becomes the longest part of my day. Instead of not needing any sleep for hours, I stay in an almost coma like slumber for sometimes 20 hours at a time. Even when I am awake I find no joy in being alive which includes completing all of the tasks and commitments I made during my period of mania. I either completely lose my appitite, or I hunger for anything I can get my hands on. during this depressive period all of the negative emotions that I have been surpressing, including emotions as a result of the trauma caused by the danger I went through while risk taking during my manic phase. I spend most of my time crying uncontrolablly, feeling worthless, useless, feeling like a waste of space,and guilt for every bad thing that has ever happened to the ones I love. Then even darker feelings set in, feelings that I deserve to die, and the auditory halucinations that soon show up start confirming what I was starting to feel already, that I needed to do anything possible to die. A couple of times I even came close to ending everything. I won’t say how just in case anyone out there is feeling these same feelings and may need to find help, but I will say I am very grateful to the angels I have here on earth who saved me when I needed help the most. Luckily for me in those darkest times of my depressive episodes There were always people around me to take me to the hospital when simply talking about it wasn’t enough.

After a while of being undiagnosed it came out that I have bipolar 2 which is one of the three catagories of the disorder. With this type of bipolar the manic phases are less dangerous than they are for someone with type one, but the depressive episodes of bipolar 2 usually last longer and are more extreme than those for people with type 1. Agitation or iritability is a symptom that is also common for people with both types of bipolar, but if it is one of my symptoms, I have not realized it yet. It has been a few years since I started taking medication for this disorder, and as long as I remember to take it I do so much better and have a more stable and rational shift in moods depending on various stimuli that reach the brain. The thing that is important to remeber about taking medication is that no matter how high quality a medication is, it will never be a magic pill that will make everything 100 percent better instantly. No one can ever be 100 percent well or 100 percent unwell, and though medication helps many people greatly, there is still often the need for different types of therapy such as talk therapy, dialectical behavioral therapy, and cognitive behavioral therapy. There is also a need to do some work outside of taking the medication and doing either form of therapy. This work is often messy and not something we naturally want to do as it brings up painful realizations about our selves and our pasts. Working through the pain to figure out triggers or what causes our symptoms to happen and also to find healthier ways to handle the effects of these triggers is a very important component to the healing proccess. Healing is nessesary for us to be happier and healthier human beings who can create a brighter world for the next generation so they do not have to suffer the same way we did. I am in no way perfect; I am still working through these steps myself, but I believe I am doing everything I can to heal and repair the damage the underlying issues have caused through the manifestation of these symptoms.

Who Gets Bipolar?

The development of bipolar disorder is thought to be caused in part by genetics in about half of all cases, though there are other times when someone can develop the disorder without it running in their family. In addition to genetic factors, there are also other reasons why the disorder can develop. One of the possible ways it can develop is if a person experiences extremely traumatic events in their lives; the other major way is through the use of alcohol and other types of drugs.

Do I Even Need to Get Treated?

Short answer, yes; long answer, Absolutely yes, and there is a list of reasons why. Bipolar, if left untreated can have severe and sometimes fatal consequences. Mine went untreated for years and it nearly took everything from me including my life. One of the complications that can arise is strangely also one of the possible ways the condition develops. For the people who develop bipolar disorder before developing a substance abuse disorder, drug and alcohol use can become one of the possible side effects as people untreated often realize something is wrong, but don’t know what it is. Because of that, they self medicate with different types of drugs and alcohol which puts them at risk for eventually developing a substance abuse disorder. These substances are ones I’ve tried to stay away from even when I wasn’t diagnosed, because Alcoholism and drug abuse do run in my biological family. One problem I did suffer from though, was declining work performance. There were some days when I would not remember I was supposed to be at work or sometimes when I was actually too depressed to get out of bed to go to work. On top of all that I found myself going in and out of the hospital for suicidal thinking and attempts as well as some other stuff that started happening around that time. I ended up having to quit my job and live with my family again until I could get Social Security Disability for both my bipolar, and all of the other health condtitions I had that were preventing me from being my full self. There can also be major issues within any type of relationships a person with untreated bipolar either develops, or already has. This was one other difficult effect the symptoms of my bipolar had. I would constantly get into arguments with my family members during times when I was taking too many risks, or when I was in my darkest states of depression. my emotions would drop from high to low so fast, and when it did I would become suicidal or irrational and try to run away. some other types of problems people with untreated bipolar may come across are legal and financial ones. depending on how bad their risk taking and other symptoms get during their manic phases, or if they do develop substance abuse issues, it can eat away at their finances or even land them in jail or prison if one of the risks they take involves commiting some type of crime. I have run into quite a few financial problems as my risk taking often involves shopping for things I know I can’t afford, and don’t need. That is why, even now, my mother is still my payee, which means she manages my money so all my bills are paid, and gives me an allotted amount of money every month to buy some things I do really want, or has me save it for emergencies.

Their are very terrible consequences of not geting help for this mental illness but perhaps the most serious is suicidal actions which could all have the possibility of changing from attempts to deaths, which may feel like what you want to do in the moment, but there have been many people who have been brought back to life after a suicide attempt and were so thankful it didn’t work. I am one of those people. I am so happy that I am still alive, even though there are still forces at work that try to convice me otherwise. I now have the tools I need to stand up against these negative forces and the understanding to know that those moments of sadness are just temporary; that greatness is soon to follow.

What Can You Do if You Feel You Need Help?

First and foremost, reach out to somebody. It can be anyone you trust, a significant other, a parent, grandparent, friend, teacher, or anyone else in your life that you see as a trusted part of your support system, or even someone from a crisis hotline. There is a resource page on this site where you can find various hotlines that work for all of the united states for different types of emergencies. 911 is also always avalible if you are in an emergency situation and need help right away. Even if it seems scary to do reach out to someone, it is absolutely worth it. I wish I had gotten the help I needed much sooner than I did. It would have saved me from a great deal of pain.

If you are not in an emergecy situation, but you still feel like you need help to manage any of these symptoms you might be experiencing find services in your community that can help you through everything. Get yourself into counseling and also psychiatry if needed; if you need help finding these kind of services it may be a good idea to talk to someone at the hospital who can help, or to get in touch with someone from a local human service organization such as the Department of Social Services, or perhaps if you are still in school, you can go to the guidance counselor’s office. All highschools and colleges have an office dedicated to helping students with many different types of issues.

Please remember this is not intended to replace medical or psychological treatment, and is not meant to act as a form of diagnosis or treatment. This is simply one person’s story of how Bipolar has affected their life, and ways that she was able to begin to heal from her suffering.