It’s Challenge Time!!!

The day is finally here, it’s February 1st. And aside from being the first day if a very important month (and during a leap year too!) it is the day I said I would start my 29 day micro-self care challenge to introduce healthy habits into my life that won’t take up the whole day or cost a thing.

Many people think that self care has to involve money with things like a spa day, or mani pedis but it doesn’t have to. Self-care is anything you do to take care of some aspect of yourself being physical, mental, social, or spiritual.

For the first day of the challenge I was supposed to take a walk outside without my phone. I thought this would be harder for me than it was because I usually always have my phone with me (even when I walk my dogs). Instead, today when it was time to walk my dogs I left my phone at home and completed the walks without it. I did have my smart watch, but that’s a fitness tracker and I like my music when I walk so I usually need to keep it on.

What I learned from today is that I don’t always have to have my phone glued to my hand, and in fact, I get many more benefits mentally from walking without the distraction and just focusing on my dogs and the signs that spring will soon be here.

“I am free”

I am free
To be me

I am free
From negativity

I am free
To be happy

I am free
Shame is gone from me.

I am free
From pain and agony

I am free
No regret is felt within me

I am free
To love unconditionally

I am free
To be me

Check out these old poems.

Trigger Warning

This my first poetry post on this blog, but these poems are from my not so distant past. Some are happy and hopeful, but some may be sad and may bring up intense feelings for people who have been through similar situations. For the most part my poetry is based on my life experiences which are sometimes positive, but keep in mind that I have also been through a lot of rough stuff.

First poem “Now”

“Now”

Now I

Have a new place

I am

Making a new place

For myself in

This new world

Now I

Have a new face

I am

Recreating

Myself from

The ground up

Now I

Have a new life

I am

Living

For me

Living finally

Now I

Have new worries

But they are

Finally, typical

For a girl Starting out

In this world

Now I

Have new respect

I Have

Respect for those

Before me

My heroes come from my family

Now I

Am on my own

I am

But I am not alone

Because my family

Is still my home.

Second Poem “Not my Fault”

“Not my Fault”


For some people it can
Be hard to move on
From tragedy
But it’s just like an instinct
For me

It used to be so hard
To live
With myself
With all of the guilt that I
Felt but it’s not my fault

They’re the ones who chose to make a baby
They’re the ones who didn’t seek help when things got
Crazy
I used to scream and cry
Every night
Getting up everyday made me feel
Like I got hit by a train. But it’s
Not my fault

They’re all the ones who abused me
They’re the ones who made me so crazy
I tried to seek help, but I got left behind in their hell

I used to hurt myself
Long after was freed from
Physical hell
I used to torture myself
But it’s not my fault

They’re the ones who taught it to me
I grew up too quickly with no way to cope
They taught me all that I know

I used to be blindly obedient
Quiet, shy, and respectful
I never wanted to be left again
I never asked for help even though my walls were caving it
And its all my fault

I should have gotten help
When the beast started coming out
I let fear of rejection stop me from obtaining freedom.

Third Poem “I Try”

“I Try”

There is a fire that burns
Deep within my heart
It cries out and yearns for a new start

There is a girl trapped deep inside
She longs for the day
When she can laugh and play
Her past haunts her to this day
I try to tell her it’ll be okay, but I can’t lie
No matter how hard I try

I fake a smile and try to cry
No matter how composed I may be
The mirror always sees right through me

I try to pretend the scars are not there
That there aren’t people who constantly stare
The smell of cigarettes and bear are out of my clothes
But they still stick up their noses when I walk by
I try and I try, but I still cry

There is a fire that burns
deep within my heart
It cries out and yearns for a new start

Fourth poem “The Past”

“The Past”


The past is the past
The present is here
When I try to see my future
My vision becomes unclear

The road thus far has been long and hard
When I try to pick myself up
I realize I am far too scared

The path I’m on
Is like a deep dark tunnel. I can’t tell one end from the other
Where am I and where is my mother

The world leaves me confused
It kicks me when I feel down and used
When I walk I hear it’s sinister laughter
And it sounds amused

The past may be the past
But it’s voices still yell in my ear
When I try to sleep I remember
The danger as if it were still here

The present is right now
As I sleep as I grow
When I cry because of my past I stop
It has made me who I am now, that much I know


The future is truly uncertain
And cloudy but I don’t let it get to me
When I start to worry I stop and smile
Because I know, I’ll be who I was meant to be.

Fifth Poem “Hello”

“Hello”


Hello? Is there someone I can talk to?
My heart is quickly breaking in two
I try to catch the pieces before they fall
But they slip through my fingers and I can’t breath at all

Hello? Does anyone know who I am
I’ve lost my way and no one gives a damn
I reach out into the dark and try to grab a hand
But I stumble and must crawl, because I can’t stand

Hello? Is anyone there; does anyone care?
Will someone hear me instead of stopping only to point and stare
I feel the glass within my heart shatter
Then I have to wonder, “with me what is the matter?”

Hello? Is it that hard to see
That something’s wrong and I’m not happy
From within the darkness my soul cries
“Is this the end? I’m tired of all the lies.

I hope you like these first entries to poetry corner. These are from the collection of poems I compiled into a poetry book called From Within the Darkness. It’s not published yet, but hopefully one day.

Feel free to like, comment below, or share all I ask is that you give me proper credit and help get the word out about my poetry and my blog if you feel so compelled.

My Dream Job…

What’s your dream job?

She is so lucky!

My dream job is to be a paid poet/author/ writer, and to have my blog really take off. I have been writing non-professionally since I was a young child and I have had some paid gigs on Fiverr before it started getting in the way of my school work, but as far as getting my work actually published, I have not been successful.

I have entered several poetry contests and almost won many times, but ultimately did not. I have also written a full collection of poems that I was interested in but am stuck at the publishing part.

For the past couple of years I wanted to try my hand at writing a full length novel for National Novel Writer’s month, but two years ago year I chose to do a memoir about my grandparents on my birth mom’s side who have both passed on, but I got too emotional half way through, and last year I chose to start working on a fantasy novel but I only got 8 pages in before I lost my die hard excitement for finishing by the end of November, which is supposed to be the goal.

I’m still interested in finishing the story, I just don’t see me doing it in just a month. I also still want to write some different memoirs about different points in my life and with different core messages I just need to get the ball rolling.

What about you? What is your dream job, or a hobby/ passion that you want to turn into a job?

A new kind of self care challenge!

Challenge Accepted!

I have been trying to think of a new challenge to add to the challenges page of this website. I finally found one that I think would be interesting to try.

The challenge is from the website http://www.realsimple.com; it is a list of 20 different mini self care habits to add to your life to incorporate more positive self care habits into your life instead of just getting rid of negative habits.

I plan to add one a day starting with the first one and each day adding each new one until the 20th day when I incorporate all 20 actions.

If you want to try this challenge, I am starting it February 1st and will finish February 20th each night I will make an update post to tell you how I felt throughout each day by adding these habits.

From the 21st until the 29th I will be doing all 20 actions everyday and on the 1st of March I will Recap how the challenge went and will share how I feel after more than a week of doing all of the actions.

https://www.realsimple.com/work-life/life-strategies/inspiration-motivation/small-self-care-challenges

If you happen to not see this post before tomorrow morning, don’t worry, It’s never too late to start, and I will be leaving the challenge up indefinitely so others may try it when they get to it.